(7) Euphoria

Bu 3mra says:

since u like food so much, how bout we go try that new Italian restaurant bil weekend? ;)

*LuJi* says:

ummm...yeah sure I don't mind...but alone?

Bu 3mra says:

hehe yes alone...it's a date...

*LuJi* says:

lol

A DATE?! I don't know what the hell I'm getting myself into but this feels good! I feel like I'm on an exciting ride, you know, that feeling in the stomach that we all get whenever we're excited or nervous! Now 3moor I can introduce to my friends because he's cute! I can't wait to tell them! I can so see him hanging out with the guys in my school, which is a good thing! Guaranteed approval!

The next day at school...

"So, I have a date on Wednesday," I beamed.
"A DATE?! Who, what, when, where, and how?! I want full details NOW!" Sama was excited.
"OK. His name is 3mar. I met him in one of the English school gatherings, he's so adorable, and he asked me out on MSN last night," I said.
"Go on! Is he short, tall, fat, or skinny?! I WANT DETAILS!" Sama said.
"He's much taller than I am, he has broad shoulders, and dark features," I blushed. "I think he's going to get along perfectly with everyone. He seems like such a nice guy. There's something hot about him. He's a flirt, in a good way" I giggled.
"What are you going to wear? You need to look HOT!" Sama said.
"I haven't decided yet, but I'll probably wear my tight dark flared jeans with my black lace top. He hasn't seen me in jeans yet and I don't want to look too dressed up or like I'm trying too hard," I said.
"Perfect. But put some lipstick on. Maybe a soft glossy beige or something," Sama suggested.
"I will. I'm going to keep my hair straight," I said.
"Nice. I think you're going to look absolutely gorgeous! Sama said.
"Inshallah babe," I said as I started walking towards class. Yalla I'll talk to you later. I don't want to be late for class. Love you!"
"Love you too babe. I'll see you in lunch time," she answered back.

Ugh, it's only Monday. I can't wait for the weekend. How am I going to eat in front of him? I won't. I'll just eat before I leave the house, and that way, I'll be too full to even think about food...

That week, and the rest of it, would just not pass quickly. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible for time to pass. I was so excite I could barely concentrate on my school work. I hung out with my mom as much as I could so that she wouldn't say anything when the weekend came. You know how parents are. You got to stay on their good side to get what you want.

Wednesday finally came.

Bu 3mra says:

When will you be ready?

*LuJi* says:

an hour tops

Bu 3mra says:

la iti2a5arain 3lay...i'll be waiting :)

(6) When God Plans...

3 months later...

"No way! What a freak!" I laughed. "So, like, what does he say?" I asked curiously.

"Haya, tikfain 7atcheeha. Y3ni, madri shagoolich. A7is inha ma5tha fikra ghala6 3anni," Haya imitated Hamad. "Tara by the way, he's im3awwir ras graidna killa feech. Kil hamma inna he comes up with an idea it5aleech ta36eena majal."

"Iy5asi! Ya3ni mou gha9ib il salfa" I said with a smirk on my face. This guy is unbelievable! Doesn't he get it? I mean, it feels good to know that someone is practically dying for me, bass yalla 3ad, this is too much. Ma9a5ha.

"I don't know what to say. Just tell him straight up that you don't want him," Haya suggested.

"I already did! That's what you're not getting!" I said. Anyway, listen, I have to go. If a teacher sees me with my mobile it'll get taken away and i'll get a detention. I'll call you when I get home. Bye." I rushed her off the phone.

"EE oo ana b3d. 5ala9, yalla bye," Haya hung up.

He just doesn't get it. I have said it in a nice way. I have said it in a mean way. There's not one way I didn't try! I'm not going to date a guy that wears the tightest Armani jeans man ever created in history, Moschino shirts that are buttoned down, and Fendi monogram shoes. Even I don't wear stuff like that, and I'm a girl! Not to mention his stupid "Ja Rule" bandanna that looks like.....

"What class are you supposed to be in?" I heard a teacher behind me say and I automatically turned around.

"Journalism sir," I responded quickly because he caught me off guard.

"Where's your hall pass?" He asked.
I figited around in my pocket until I finally found it. "Right here, sir," I handed it to him.

"Thank you. Don't wonder around in the hallways. Get to class," he ordered.

"Yes sir," I obediently said. That was close.

Today feels like such a long day. I just want it to end. It's finally Wednesday! Just 1 more class to go. I wonder what the girls feel like doing. I feel like walking around. I don't want to end up sitting in some random place as usual.

Arabic was the last class of the day. I got my books from my locker and slowly walked to class. I had no more energy left.

"Hello sexy!" Munira said. Munira is one of my closest friends. We grew up together and we always prefer doing the same things.

"Hey you," I replied. I don't even have the energy to have a decent conversation, but i'll try. "What's up?"

"Are you coming to the gathering that Na9oor is having tonight?" She asked.

Oh crap! I completely forgot about that! "I don't know. I forgot about it to tell you the truth. Who's going?" I asked.

"Everyone! You have to come. There are even people from the English school coming. Supposedly, they're really nice. I don't know," Munira said.

"English school?" I was taken by surprise.

"Yes, the English school. What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing," I replied quickily. I'm fine."

The teacher finally arrived to class and I was saved from the interigation when she asked us to take out our books and be quiet. If she had not came, Munira would have kept asking me questions until I told her what was going on, and in all honesty, I wasn't in the mood.

I rushed to the car when class was finished.

"Hi mama!" I said as I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi 7abeebty. How was your day?" She asked as always.

"I had such a long day; I just wanted it to end. Its the weekend!" I said enthusiasticlly.

"Ee wa a5eeran. Tara ana 5athait nafnoofich il ma9bagha il 9ib7 and it's ready now. 3allagta 3la il kabat oo 7a6ait il shoes wil clutch 3la il table. Abi iykoon shaklich wayid 7ilw ilyome la2anna it's a big wedding," she said as she was driving.

WHAT? A WEDDING? TONIGHT? That means I can't go to the gathering! This isn't happening! "3irs? 3irs mino?" My tone immediately changed.

"Shino 3irs mino? 9arli shahar oo ana agoolich plan how your lookfor the wedding and now you're asking me 3irs mino?" My mom began to get irritated.

"Ee bass yumma I completely forgot oo ilyome fi gathering oo...." She wouldn't even let me finish my sentence.

"Lujain ana gaylatlich min ziman fa mo moskilty oo a9lan mino gallich inna ubooch ibyirtha itroo7een gathering ilyome. 7itta mou gayla min gabil inna fi gathering. Raja2an Lujain mako niqash. Maw3idich bil 9alon is at 4," and with that said, the conversation ended.

There's nothing I can do. I'm dying to go. I just want to see who's there. This isn't fair! Y3ni out of all days? Ma ligaw iysawoon 3irshom illa 3la hatha il yome?!

I decided to call Haya when I got home.

"Hello," she answered.

"Yeah, hey, What's up?" I was in such a bad mood.

"Nothing much, what's wrong?" She asked.

"I can't go anywhere tonight because I have a stupid wedding to go to with my mom. She's forcing me to go. She says she's been telling me for the past month. Y3ni did the wedding ave to be on this day? What if..."

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down woman!" Haya stopped me.

I took a deep breathe. I wanted to cry. Are you going to a gathering tonight? I asked.

"Yeah, I am. Na9er, this guy in your school invited the whole shilla," She said.

"This is not fair! I want to go! Ugh, whatever. I'm just going to take a bath. Call me later when something interesting happens and I'm not there to see it." I hung up the phone.

As I took a bath I visualized how much fun the gathering was going to be, I felt my tears mingle with the hot water. I want to see him.

(5) Dancing with Shadows...

3 days later...

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

halla walla :)

*LuJi* says:

halla feek...

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

slo0nich?

*LuJi* says:

I'm good...u??

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

do0ome

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

I'm fine

*LuJi* says:

:)

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

did you enjoy the party the other day?

*LuJi* says:

ee walla it was wanasa...

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

co0ol...

OK, this is awkward. I closed the conversation box and called Haya.

"Alo?" Haya answered.

"I seriously hate you for giving him my email. We have absolutely nothing to say to eachother! And why the hell is his nickname so damn 3gaidi?!" I bombarded her with comments and questions. "7amood cool 3la6ool," I teased. I'm so pissed! Now he's not going to leave me alone. I can tell. I feel it.

"I'm sorry I just thought it would be OK with you," she laughed. "Calm down, it's not like you're dating him if you talk to him on MSN! Y3ni mita ma tabeen tigdireen itsaween sign out, o0 mita tabeen ta7gireen, and that's that! As if you don't have guy friends from school that you talk to on MSN. This is the same thing. "

"Yeah, but those guys have been with me in school for as far as I can remember. They're like my brothers. 5ala9 whatever! I'll deal with it, I guess. What are your plans for....."

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

Are you free this weekend?

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

We should all do something...

7am0od~Cool 3la6ool says:

itha tabeen...

I'm not going to reply!

"What's wrong?" Haya asked.

"Your friend just asked me if I'm free this weekend, and if I am, then we should all do something." I replied coldly. "Whatever, I'm just not going to reply."

Haya laughed at me. "Speaking of this weekend, do you have any plans yet?" She asked.

"I really have to see the girls. I have been skipping them big time and I'm not in the mood for them to get mad at me. If you want, come with me where ever we go." I said.

"OK, we'll see. Listen, I really have to go. My mom is calling me for lunch. I'll talk to you later. Bye" Haya said in a hurry.

"OK. Bye babe." I hung up.

I need to sit with my parents for a bit. I don't want mom to get all upset and give me the same lecture I get all the time. "You have to be a more active member in the family. You have to stop being so wrapped up with your friends and become more concerned with your family." And it just goes on and on and on.

"Lujain," I heard my mom calling my name from the living room.

"Na3am yumma?" I replied as I signed off MSN and walked to the living room.

"Ana ba6la3. I want to go shopping. Tabeen tiyeen, willa 3indich dirasa?" She asked.

I can always do some shopping! I'll find an outfit for this weekend in case there's a nice outing! YAY! "La yumma ma 3indi shay, ni6reeni. I'm going to get dressed quickly," I said dashing into my room.

"Inzain, yalla. La iti2a5arain mama," she said.

"What a cute morning dress! Mama look," I said. The dress was cotton material, pink, and very simple. I love simple yet trendy outfits. Besides, it goes perfectly with my silver flats with the different colored stones on them.

"Ee walla na3im. Try it on, and if you like it, i5thi," She said. "Shoofay hal blouza. 7ilwa?"

Very nice. "Wayid 7ilwa! i5theeha bidoun la itfakreen," I said.

After almost 3 hours of continous shopping, it was time to go home. My mom always liked to be home before my dad got home from work so that we can all have dinner together. Isn't she adorable?

Ouch, my feet are killing me. I changed into my pajamas, got my history book, and sat down to start working. Let me just put some music on and sign into MSN. I can't focus if there's no music on. As soon as I signed on to MSN....

Bu 3mra says:

hiiiiiii, remember me?

*Luji* says:

helloo :)

*Luji* says:

yup, ur the guy that asked me to dance, right?

Bu 3mra says:

fidait illy tathkir ;)

*Luji* says:

lol (a)

There's something about him.

"Lujain, yalla yumma! 3asha. Ubooch yah!" My mom called.

Damn it! Perfect timing mother!

(4) A Rush of Oxygen to the Soul...

2 months later...

I was so nervous! I was also excited because Haya's mom and mine had finally agreed to let us go to a mixed "gathering" at our girlfriend's house. Yes! I get to meet new people and stay out later than usual! Plus, I'm in the mood to get all dolled up. Butterflies! The only reason they agreed to this was because our girlfriend's mother was going to be there to "supervise." Supposedly. That's the plan! I feel horrible being sneaky like this, but I need a break once in a while. What to do?
"Where the hell is my tight black skirt?! Haya, please check in that pile on that white chair. I'm not going if I don't find it," I said panicking. Huge issue. If I don't execute the image I have created in my head of myself the night before for the event, I would rather stay home. Trust me, I have done it before. I was standing in the middle of my room half-dressed and freaking out. I was trying to make up an emergency plan B in case I couldn't find my skirt. You can tell I really want to go to this event.

"It's not here! OK, listen to me seriously. We don't get a chance like this too often in case you haven't noticed. I want to get there in half an hour maximum because I would like to have enough time to enjoy myself without Raju ringing the bell in the middle of the fun. So please, move it!" Haya said. OK, fine. I know she has a point, and I also feel bad for making her wait when she's all ready.

"You know what? You're right. I'm going to put on my other black skirt. The one with the small slit on the side," I finally gave in. I opened my closet, grabbed the skirt, and slipped it on. "Just let me put my stuff in my purse and I'll be good to go."

As we walked out of my room and into the living room, I found my mother sitting on the couch watching TV. "Yumma! i7na ray7een. Tabeen shay?" I asked as I kissed her forehead.

"La yumma bas please deeraw balkum oo diggaw 3lay min her house lamman tou9loon," she said.

"Inshallah. Yumma, mou a7san ityeebeeli mobile oo itfukeen 3mrich? Mou arya7?" I said as I gave her a joking look and continued to walk to the stairs with Haya. I knew what her response was going to be. Taw il nas. Blah, blah, blah!

"Taw il nas 3al mobile. 7ag shino a9lan?" She said.

By that time I was halfway down the stairs, so I didn't reply. I just couldn't wait to get there. I was in party mode! Small and special outings make me happy.

"OK Haya stick by me when we get there. I don't know anyone and I don't want to be alone at any time when I'm there, OK? It's going to feel weird because I don't know anyone. So promise me min il7een," I said on our way.

"Akeed I promise. Y3ni ana illy giltlich come. Ba5aleech ibroo7ich? I don't know how you think sometimes," Haya laughed.

"I was just making sure," I said laughing with her.

I feel sophisticated, powerful, and confident. Like I'm about to plunge into a warm, body-hugging pool of water. Like I'm out there to get the world with my mother's classic Fendi heals, tight black skirt, white tucked in qamees, studded baby blue clutch, perfectly applied black eyeliner and mascara, and finally, my healthy, naturally straight, light brown hair. Flawless in my eyes.

As Raju pulled up in front of the house, Haya and I observed the people and atmosphere through the tinted windows. I didn't catch a single familiar face at first. Or wait a minute, that's Hamad, the guy Haya introduced me to a couple of months ago. What is he wearing? And why on earth does he have a "Ja Rule style" looking bandanna tied around his head?

"Some very interesting ashkal in your school Haya," I teased.

"3adal yal stuck-up American school girl," she said laughing. "But I have to admit you're right. We do have some pretty funny-looking people."

I laughed. "Yalla, let's go!"

"Yalla, I see my shilla. I'll introduce you to them first and we'll go from there. You're going to love them," she said enthusiastically.

"OK," I replied. Wow, I feel like such an outsider; I feel like I have so much to learn about this school's culture and people. Ugh, English schools!

After Haya introduced me to all her friends, her "shilla" according to her, I felt a little more comfortable. They were actually really nice people; they didn't really differ from my friends a whole lot. Besides, there was a hottie, or two! Middle school crushes. I remember. The age of utter innocence and pure, good intentions.

As I got acquainted with random people I slowly began to get loose. I socialized more than I ever had in the past. Mind you, I am a very social person to begin with. That night, Haya and I danced and danced until...

"Hey, do you want to dance with me?" I heard a voice in my ear and quickly turned around. Oh my God, what a cutie! OK, think. This is so not me. I'm not going to dance with him. I don't even know him. What is it with boys in this school? They sure have guts!

"Ummmm, no thanks, I was just about to...."

"Halla Bu 3mra!" I saw Hamad grabbing the guy's attention and then whispering something in his ear. Oh God, not again.

"Come on, it's time to go home babe!" Haya screamed over the music. She then took my hand and began pushing through the crowd.

"Thank God, I was beginning to feel weird!" I screamed back. "Oh my God, this is so fun, I wish we could stay!"

"Me too! But we better get going before our mothers throw a fit," Haya walked faster.

As we were walking to the car, Haya and I said our "bye's" and I said my "nice to meet you's" to people. It's so damn loud. And finally, we got into the car and closed the door. Quietness. My ears are buzzing.

The ride home was filled with excitement, gossip, and high fives. Haya and I would not shut up! When Raju pulled up in front of my house, I didn't want to stop talking, so I told Haya to call me as soon as she got home.

As I unlocked the kitchen door and walked in, I heard the TV and my parents' voices from the second floor. I could smell my dad's cigarettes. Home sweet home. I can't wait to continue my conversation with Haya! I ran up the stairs to where my parents were situated. I gave each one a kiss on the forehead and remained standing from the excitement.
"Thanks mom, I love you for letting me go! 9ij istanasna. I met so many new people!" I said.

"Wayid zain mama, that's nice," She said.

"Look at you! All dressed up and looking older. Ish hal zain killa?" My father sweet talked me.

"7ilou? Il heals malout mama," I said shyly as I slowly crept into my room.

"Wayid 7ilou 7abibti," He smiled.

As I changed into my pajamas, my eye caught something flashing in the toolbar on my desktop. I walked over and clicked on it.

"Hamad would like to add you as a friend on MSN," the notification read. Ummm...how did he get my email?

I minimized it, but something was still flashing, so I clicked again.

"Bu 3mra would like to add you as a friend on MSN," the notification read. What the...

"Ring, Ring," my house phone went off. I rushed over and answered it. I hope it's Haya. I'm going to kill her if she's the one that gave my email out!

"Alo?" I said anxiously through the phone.

"Helloooo," Haya replied.

(3) Barely a Dab of Dark

"Excuse me? You have got to be kidding me! Haya, he's not serious is he? Tell him NEVER! EWW! Don't tell him the eww part though, 7aram," I sent her back an SMS.

As I was picking at my Fettuccine Alfredo, I felt my face burn up. How embarrassing! It was like we were all mute; none of us could bring ourselves to say a single word to each other. Instead, we were communicating through text messages! Mind you, we were sitting at the same table only less than a meter away from each other!

The awkwardness began as soon as I met him. "Hi," I said politely and extended my hand.

"Halla walla," Hamad finally managed to say after shaking my hand and locking his eyes in mine for about 30 seconds or so. He wouldn't let go of my hand until I shyly pulled away. Weirdo!

We then followed the waitress to our table. I waited until Haya sat so that I would know where to sit. I didn't want to sit next to him or even in front of him! Diagonal to him was the furthest I could possibly be.

"Beep beep", Haya's phone went off as soon as we settled. She looked at the message and I could see that she was holding herself back from laughing. 10 seconds later, my phone beeped. I open up the message only to find that Haya had forwarded the message she received from Hamad saying: "I WANT HER." Oh my God, what a freak. I don't even know him. And he knows nothing about me! Is he that desperate?! I tried to remain as cool as I could. I didn't want to show him that I was at all concerned with his immature attempt to "hook up" with me. After I got my thoughts together, I calmly messaged her back.

The back and forth messaging went on for almost half an hour. I looked at my watch. 08:24 pm, it read. We need to be home soon if we don't plan on pissing our mothers off. I began to get uncomfortable with the whole situation, so I decided to break the ice by randomly blurting out, "are you always this quiet? Talk! Tara ana ma a7ib ag3ad bass chithi bidoon 7atchi." At that point, all he could do was look up and let out a quiet laugh. I need Haya to help me start an actual VERBAL conversation to break the awkwardness! I can't take it!

"By the way, what ever happened between you and Jenna?" Haya finally spoke. She and Hamad go to the same school. From then on, it was all good. One conversation led to another, and before we knew it, it was time to go home.

“Can we get the bill please?" I was in a rush. A few minutes later, the waitress came with the check and I reached out for it. Naturally.

"Umm..what do you think you're doing? Lamman iykoon fi rayyal ga3id makoo shay isma bnayya tidfa3!" Hamad said, snatching the bill from my hand. We tend to say very adult phrases when we are just in our early teens. It's weird how in the moment itself we actually believe that we are of mature age while other people view us as kids. I now experiece that with the younger generation and laugh at myself; I now understand where my mother came from when she used to tell my friends and I, "you're still too young, la7geen 3la hal kalam il kbeer."

"Yalla 3ad la it9eer maleeq, give it to me! Ugh, this isn't happening. I just want to go! Haya is the one that called you in the first place, so illy ya3zim yidfa3." Logic.

"Agool, istiree7ay. Willa agoolich, goomay rig9ay 3al 6awla yimkin a36eech il bill," he said laughing. The objectification of women: a concept I got to understand too early in life through a "wrong word choice error" from a complete stranger.

EXCUSE ME? Oh no, he did not just say that! Who does he think I am? I froze for about 5 seconds. I didn't want to make a problem; so instead, I decided to take it as a joke. In fact, maybe he didn't mean it the way it came out. I was assured that was the case when his expression changed and became apologetic.

Before Haya and I got to the car she said, "Yalla Hamad, thanks for dinner and I'll see you in school on Saturday." Clearly, she doesn't want the driver to see that we are with a boy in case he decides to for some reason randomly go tell her mother one day.

"OK, nice to meet you, he looked at me. Take care. Bye."

"Yeah, uha, you too, bye!" I said, as I got into the car.

Haya and I spent the rest of the way home in utter silence. I knew what she was thinking, and I knew the exact answer I would tell her if she happened to think of asking.

As I lay in bed that night I felt a tingle of power caress my soul, gently taking over as it slowly drifted away into my pale pink dreams...