Thursday, July 30, 2009

(2) Amidst the Haze of Mystery, a Thin Streak of Lightning in the Distance...

Back in the day, it didn't seem normal for us, as young teens, to go out in pairs. For some reason, whenever there was an outing, no less than 10 people were involved and we paraded around as a group. Good times. But that day was different. It was "yome maleeq".
I was over at my girlfriend's house and we were so bored to the point where we were trying to invent some sort of funky cookie recipe. But before we actually got started with the whole baking process, my girlfriend's mother popped into the kitchen and said, "shga3deen itsawoon? Mabi iy9eer loya bil ma6ba5!" She had a point to tell you the truth. We did burn down a portion of the kitchen while trying to make 5ubiz magli one day! We exchanged looks and then glanced over at her. I guess she saw the misery and boredom in our eyes, and so she said, "itha taboon 6il3aw ti3ashaw oo riddaw ibsir3a, ya3ni 9:00pm maximum. Il sayig iywadeekom oo iyridkom." Is she serious? Normally, she would never approve an outing at this time, let alone suggest one!
We quickly ran up the stairs and into the room. We were both excited! I was wearing a knitted baby blue top along with black bell bottoms. They were so in the time. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw my plain face. So clear. So youthful. So unused. I now realize what it was worth, but it's too late. Blue mascara was the new Miracle Touch Foundation from MaxFactor. Eyes were the one feature I thought could tell stories to people; in them people found truth, lies, pain, and so much more. They had to be absolutely perfect. I carefully and thoroughly applied it from the bottom of my lashes all the way to the top. Just like mom taught me. I then struggled to apply my matching blue pencil eyeliner along the bottom inside of my eyes. I hated that part, but what could I say? Beauty is pain. I finished further perfecting my face by splashing on some shear glittery gloss. Perfect. I was finally presentable enough to put myself out there. I patiently waited for Haya to finish.
"Where I drop you?" asked Raju. He had been Haya's driver since we were kids.
Haya and I looked at each other, "ummm, that neighborhood restaurant", she said pointing with a smirk on her face. I knew she was up to something. After a brief pause she asked, "But don't you think we would look stupid if just the two of us sat there and had dinner?"
Definitely.
"Well, it wouldn't be so bad, it's different I guess," I said. I tried to seem as nonchalant as possible.
"I have an idea! I'll call my friend Hamad from school and see what he's up to and i'll ask him if he wants to meet up," Haya said. She sounded too excited.
"Are you serious? I don't even know him," I said.
"Well then you'll meet him. Trust me, he's a really cool guy," Haya tried to convince me.
But what if he's weird?
"OK, whatever, call him," I finally said. After all, how bad could it be?
She picked up her phone and dialed his number. "Hi Hamad!...

(1) Somewhere in the Dust I Found a Shadow, and Remembered...

You know when u keep yourself SO busy on purpose to the point where you don't have time to look back and think or remember anything? Well, that's what I have been doing for the past 4 months of my life until i stopped myself last night and it all caught up to me. It hit me like nothing ever did before. I realized that I needed to start talking and letting myself emerge from this toxic bubble that I have confined myself in for all these years. Supposedly the best years of my life.
I guess I got this epiphany when I found myself looking at my friends' profiles on FB and feeling like I was a 40 year old looking at the younger generations and their lives and envying them as I was reading their statuses and looking at their albums..this feeling grew stronger because I was stuck in this dust struck country doing my internship...what a mistake to do my internship in the summer time...I couldn't even travel for a damn weekend just to get some fresh air...
Flan has created a new album titled "BEIRUT 2009 BABYYYYY!"
Flana has "leaving to Paris in 2 days!!!" for her status
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...I'm so sick of it. I am NOT 40 and I do NOT need to envy anyone because I know that I, too, am capable of living a depression-free life. All I need is the right plan to get myself out of this mess. A mess that I somehow put myself in.
It all began in a neighborhood restaurant...